The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
