dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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