Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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