if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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