I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
