Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
