you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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