Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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