She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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