so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
