Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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