you guys were way drunker than both of me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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