Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
