Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he thought i was a dude.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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