If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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