just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's rum buckets o'clock
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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