There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
