I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
