I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
