dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
