What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
