what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
