I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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