we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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