can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
