Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's official drugs can't kill me
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
