The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
