question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
