u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
