We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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