Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
