Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
