ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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