yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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