My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
a search helicopter?!
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
