barbara walters just said penis...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
