Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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