how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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