so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I don't deserve a penis
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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