I wish I could teleport
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
