Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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