So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
