he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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