My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
