Is it because I queefed?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
sex in a hospital.. check
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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