even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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