where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
how does that bad decision feel?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
