it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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