why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
