Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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