Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
